Over the years, I have seen more examples of poor presentation techniques than I care to remember, but one stands out in my mind. At the beginning of an ethics training session, the presenter told the audience:

I had planned to show you this wonderful video with actors from The Office singing the song “Let’s Get Ethical” to the tune of “Let’s Get Physical.” Unfortunately, I can’t get the DVD to work, so I can’t show it, but let me tell you, it would be funny if you could see it.

Audio-visual aids, including videos, can be a giant enhancement for training. The U.S. Office of Government Ethics has recognized this, and since the unfortunate example mentioned above, they have made it easier for ethics trainers by providing a large library of videos and other resources to complement ethics training. The OGE’s collection of training aids on the rules limiting governmental officials’ activities during election years is a timely example.

Unfortunately, OGE had not yet compiled these resources at the time that the trainer was preparing the presentation mentioned above. The trainer was pretty much on her own. She showed commendable initiative in finding a relevant video. The video is actually pretty good. It’s now available not just on DVD, but on TikTok, which version would probably been easier for her to use than a DVD. The trainer deserves credit for attempting to enliven the training with a fun video.

She compounded the damage by making an unnecessary apology, reducing the audience’s confidence in her and making it less likely they would listen to her.

Sadly, she is not the only trainer to feel an odd compulsion to begin a presentation with an apology. Too many presenters feel compelled to begin their presentation this way. The habit of beginning with an apology is so old that it has a name in Medieval rhetoric, the captatio benevolentiae, meaning an attempt to capture the audience’s goodwill. It doesn’t work.

One school of thought is that presenters should “Never complain, never explain.” This pithy saying has been attributed to Benjamin Disraeli, Henry Ford, and Katherine Hepburn, among others. Regardless of the originator, this approach seems more than a little dubious. “Never?” Isn’t that a recipe for being a jerk?

However, with a bit of adjustment for rhetorical excess, this idea has some value. Experienced presenters understand that most often, the audience will never know if the speaker made a mistake unless the speaker draws attention to the error by apologizing.

“Never” apologize? Probably a mistake. “Almost never” apologize? Sounds about right.

In some situations, an apology is an appropriate way to demonstrate professionalism, respect, and accountability. Here are a few suggestions on when speakers should consider apologizing and when they should plow ahead:

Apology Probably Appropriate

Errors or Misinformation: If the trainer provides incorrect information or makes a significant mistake during the session, acknowledging the error and apologizing is important to maintain credibility.

Unforeseen Delays: If the training starts late or runs over time due to factors within the trainer’s control, an apology is appropriate to show respect for the audience’s time.

Miscommunication: If the trainer misinterprets a question or concern from a participant and addresses it incorrectly or dismissively, an apology can help rebuild trust and open communication.

Inappropriate Comments or Behavior: If the trainer says something that could be perceived as offensive, insensitive, or unprofessional, a prompt and sincere apology is crucial to address the situation and show respect for the audience.

Unclear Instructions: If instructions or explanations are unclear, leading to confusion or frustration among participants, an apology can be paired with a clearer, more detailed explanation.

Apology Probably Not Appropriate

1. Over-Apologizing for Minor Issues: Constantly apologizing for minor or trivial matters, like slight pauses or small technical glitches, can undermine a trainer’s authority and make them appear less confident. It can also distract from the content and make the session feel less professional.

2. Apologizing for Things Outside of Your Control: A fire alarm goes off during your presentation? No apology needed! Apologizing for circumstances beyond your control, such as external noise, network outages, or unforeseen delays caused by others, can diminish your perceived leadership. Instead, acknowledging the situation without apologizing and focusing on solutions or adjustments can be more effective.

3. Apologizing in Place of Assertiveness: If a participant challenges or interrupts the trainer in a disruptive or inappropriate way, apologizing in an attempt to diffuse tension might encourage further disruptions. Instead, it’s better to steer the conversation back on track assertively. If a participant keeps interrupting with off-topic questions, instead of apologizing for not addressing their points, politely but firmly refocus the discussion on the planned content.

4. Apologizing When No Mistake Was Made: Apologizing when there hasn’t been a mistake can confuse the audience or suggest uncertainty about the material. This can weaken the trainer’s credibility.

5. Apologizing to Avoid Conflict: In some cases, trainers might feel compelled to apologize to avoid conflict or placate a difficult participant. However, this can set a precedent for being overly accommodating, potentially leading to loss of control over the session.

6. Apologizing for Decisions or Boundaries: When setting boundaries, enforcing rules, or making decisions (like ending a discussion due to time constraints), apologizing can undermine the authority of the decision. It’s better to communicate decisions clearly and confidently without an apology. For example, if you decide to move on from a heated debate to stay on schedule, apologizing for this decision can make it seem negotiable, potentially leading to further delays.

The bottom line: Avoid the temptation to try to sound like a nice guy, apologizing when there is no good reason. Apologizing is important when warranted, but judgment is necessary. Avoid unnecessary or misplaced apologies that could undermine your authority, confidence, or the overall effectiveness of the training session.